A partner’s guide to breastfeeding
7-minute read
Key facts
- Breastfeeding gives your baby all the nutrients they need.
- Babies can feed up to 12 times a day and a feeding session may last for over an hour.
- It can take 1 to 2 months for your partner and baby settle into a breastfeeding routine.
- You can support your breastfeeding partner by spending time with them and doing what you can to help.
- If you are not breastfeeding, there are many other ways you can spend time with your baby.
What should I know about breastfeeding?
Breastmilk contains all the nutrients your baby needs until they are about 6 months of age. It also contains antibodies that help protect your baby from illness and infections.
Breastfeeding also has health benefits for the person feeding the baby.
Breastfeeding isn't always quick. For new parents, each feeding session can take up to an hour. Most newborns feed 8 to 12 times a day. It often takes up to 6 weeks for you and your baby to establish a good breastfeeding system.
As your baby grows, breastfeeds will become less frequent, and take less time.
By learning how breastfeeding works you can support your partner.
How can I help my partner?
You partner will feel supported to breastfeed if they are encouraged and respected by their family and friends, including you. Your support can be crucial as your partner learns how to breastfeed. In fact, research has shown that active support can help your partner breastfeed for longer.
There are many things you can do to help support your partner.
You can help while your partner is breastfeeding, and also when they aren't. Be mindful that both your partner and baby are learning to breastfeed — this can be very tiring. Try to take one day at a time and tackle household chores and parenting tasks as a team.
Caring for your partner while they breastfeed
When your partner is breastfeeding, you can be an extra pair of hands. You can get them things they may need while breastfeeding.
You can also keep your partner company while they breastfeed. You can use the time to talk to each other or relax with each other. You can encourage your partner while the baby feeds.
Breastfeeding will make your partner hungry and thirsty. You can help by encouraging them to drink plenty of water and preparing healthy meals.
After breastfeeding, you can help to settle your baby. The smell of milk on your partner can make it hard to get your baby to relax. In these situations, your child might settle better in your arms.
Night feeds
For night feeds, you can bring your baby to your partner in bed. After the feed you can:
Helping around the house
If you partner is breastfeeding, you can try to be at home as much as possible. This gives you time to help with housework.
You can:
- help prepare meals
- do household chores, like laundry
- care for any other children
- do things that you need to do
You can also help manage any visitors and ensure that they leave by the time your partner needs to feed your baby or rest.
Breastfeeding and intimacy
Be patient if your partner doesn't feel like being intimate with you. They might feel 'touched out' if they're feeding, carrying and settling a baby many times a day.
How can I help if my partner is having breastfeeding problems?
Many people struggle with breastfeeding. It's not normal for your partner to be in pain when breastfeeding. If the baby is attached properly, any discomfort should subside after 30 to 60 seconds.
If discomfort or pain continues, encourage them to get help. Getting support can improve your breastfeeding journey.
You can help by booking a visit with your maternal and child health nurse or a lactation consultant. They can provide extra breastfeeding support.
If your partner still can't breastfeed or chooses not to breastfeed, reassure them by:
- respecting their decision
- telling them that it's OK
- reminding them that they are doing a good job
How else can we feed our baby?
There are other ways to feed your baby.
It might be possible for them to express their breast milk. This means you can share the feeding. You can bottle feed your baby, and your partner can take a break.
Another choice may be to partially breastfeed — to feed your baby a mixture of formula and breastmilk.
You might both decide that formula feeding is the best choice for your baby. Formula is made from a special dried-milk powder.
You can speak to your doctor or child health nurse about what options are best for your family.
How can I get to know my baby?
When it's not feed time, you can enjoy time with your baby. It's important that your baby learns that love can also come without food.
You can get to know your baby by:
- changing their nappy
- playing with them
- bathing them
- giving them a massage
- settling them to sleep
Take opportunities to carry your baby in a sling, or to just cuddle them. Cuddling skin-to-skin can help settle your baby and help you bond.
Resources and support
For information and support on breastfeeding you can talk to the Australian Breastfeeding Association on 1800 mum 2 mum or 1800 686 268.
The Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) website has resources for new parents.
Speak to a maternal child health nurse
Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week.
Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.
Last reviewed: October 2024
