Children and biting

Why do children bite?

Biting is a normal part of childhood development. It's not necessarily a sign that something is wrong, or that your child is naughty or badly behaved.

Some of the main reasons why children bite include:

• exploration — very young children (those aged 6 to 12 months) often bite just to see what happens
• teething — biting down on things when teeth are coming through, so their gums can feel good
• accidental — a very young child may bite without meaning to hurt, for example, when kissing
• copying — children tend to copy things they've seen others do, including biting
• tiredness, hunger, or illness — some children bite when they're feeling tired, hungry or unwell

Other reasons for biting are:

• impulse — young children find it hard to control themselves, and sometimes just do something impulsively without thinking about the consequences
• boredom — biting is used by some children to get attention, because it's certain to get a reaction
• over-excitement — sometimes children bite when they are overstimulated or overwhelmed
• frustration — toddlers can bite when they're having a tantrum to express frustration or when feeling powerless
• stress — when a child is under stress, they may use biting to show distress or anxiety

How should I respond when my child bites?

How you respond to biting is important. Your reaction is likely to influence your child's behaviour in the future.

What to do when your child bites:

• Stay calm — this will help you work out the best way to deal with the situation, while modelling self-control to your child.
• Remove your child from the situation — for example, separate them from the children they were playing with.
• Tell your child in a clear way that biting hurts, and they mustn't do it (for example, say, "Biting hurts. No biting").
• Try to react according to the situation — for example, if your child bites you to demand your attention, you could turn away.

It may be a good idea to:

• give your child a teething ring if needed
• keep group play to short times and small groups
• try to avoid situations your child finds challenging

To avoid biting becoming a habit, it's important to:

• help your child learn how to use words to express their feelings
• encourage good behaviour when you see it

What should I not do when my child bites?

What to avoid doing when your child bites:

• Never bite your child back.
• Never get your child to bite themselves, so they 'know what it feels like'.
• Don't shout at a child who bit you — this won't help them learn appropriate behaviour.
• Don't let children think biting is funny or a game.

What should I do if my child bites while breastfeeding?

Sometimes older babies and toddlers bite when breastfeeding. This may happen when they are not actively feeding because:

• the milk is not coming fast enough
• your baby has had enough
• your baby is teething

Try watching your child as they feed, and if their sucking slows, remove them from the breast. You could also try swapping sides when their feeding slows, so your baby gets more milk.

Saying "no" firmly and taking your baby off the breast straight away when they bite can help teach them not to bite.

Try some treatments for teething if you think this may be causing the biting.

What if my child has been biting when I'm not nearby?

If you weren't there at the time, you may only find out about the biting from a report, such as from your childcare centre.

You may feel angry, guilty and worried about other people's reactions. Understandably, those involved (for example, the parents of the bitten child) are likely to feel upset. It's a good idea to apologise as soon as possible after the incident.

See more tips on discipline strategies here.

What if my child is being bitten?

If another child has bitten your child, you may feel angry towards the child, their family, or the people who were in charge when it happened (such as childcare centre staff).

If the biting has happened on more than one occasion, you are likely to feel frustrated.

Unfortunately, when young children are cared for in large groups, biting incidents are hard to avoid. Staff who care for young children are familiar with these incidents. They will have strategies in place for managing them.

Speak to the staff or person in charge and ask them what strategies they use when a child is biting.

First aid for bite wounds

While a small child's bite may leave a bruise, the skin is not usually broken.

See your doctor if you are worried about a bite wound, or if the skin is broken. Read more about wounds, cuts and grazes.

Resources and support

If you feel like you need help with a biting situation, you can get advice from a professional.

• Talk to your doctor or child and child health nurse.
• Consult a child psychologist.
• Speak with a lactation consultant about biting while breastfeeding.

The Australian Breastfeeding Association provides information and support for problems with breastfeeding. Call them on 1800 686 268.