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What are the emotional effects of miscarriage on the non-pregnant partner?

A miscarriage can be a time of great sadness for both the person carrying the pregnancy and their partner.

It is normal for partners to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, helplessness and anxiety. You may also have cultural beliefs about pregnancy loss that affect how you feel.

Some people have especially strong feelings if their journey to pregnancy was difficult, or if they have had previous miscarriages.

Many partners feel that they need to be strong for their partner who carried the pregnancy, or that they should not feel as upset as their partner. This can make you feel isolated when grieving. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and take the time to manage your own grief, while you are supporting your partner.

You may not yet have told your workplace, family or friends about the pregnancy, so they may not be a source of support.

Looking after yourself

Looking after your emotional wellbeing is very important. Some partners feel that they don't get enough support from loved ones or from the healthcare team. It is important to get help and support.

Some partners feel acknowledged by taking part in rituals or services that are important in their culture.

You may find it helpful to talk about your experience with a friend or family member. Some partners find it helpful to join a support group or speak to a mental health professional.

If you live in a rural or remote area, ask your doctor how you can access support groups or counselling.

Supporting your partner during a miscarriage

It's normal for your partner to feel sad, anxious, guilty or helpless after a pregnancy loss. It may take time for them to recover following a miscarriage. Supporting your partner can help them heal after the loss.

It can be stressful to deal with your own grief and support your partner at the same time. Understand that you may both be coping with grief in different ways.

Read about how you and your partner can support each other.

Moving on after a miscarriage

It may take time for you or your partner to want sexual intimacy again. This is normal and is best managed by talking openly to each other.

Thinking about trying for pregnancy again can also be a difficult issue. It can take time for you or your partner to be emotionally ready for another pregnancy after a miscarriage, even if your partner has physically recovered.

It is important to discuss how you feel with your partner. Try to be patient and understand that your partner's recovery journey may be different to yours.

If you are struggling, talk to a mental health professional. You can also talk to your family doctor or one of the support organisations listed below.

Resources and support

Red Nose Grief and Loss provides support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death. Call their support line on 1300 308 307.

The Gidget Foundation Australia supports parents' mental health during pregnancy and after pregnancy loss.

Visit Miscarriage Australia to find support for:

• LGBTIQA+ families
• male partners

The Pink Elephants provide information and support for anyone impacted by early pregnancy loss.

Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available from 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week (including public holidays).

Do you prefer to read in languages other than English?

Find information about miscarriage in several community languages.

Looking for information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people?

See this booklet to support your journey after losing your bub.

Supporting family, friends or employees after pregnancy loss

When a family member, friend or employee has a pregnancy loss, you might not know what to say or do. Visit Bears of Hope for brochures and guides.