Crying baby

Babies cry for many different reasons. Sometimes it's easy to see when they're hungry, tired, or even bored. At other times, it can be harder to tell what they want. Babies cry to show they need something, and that's the only way they can do it.

In the first 3 months of life, crying helps to build a close relationship between parents and their baby, as your baby learns how to call you when they need something.

In very young babies, a couple of hours of crying in the late afternoon and evening is common.

Your baby's individual personality affects how they act. Although all babies are sensitive, some need more soothing and reassurance than others.

The pitch and intensity of your baby's cry are designed by nature to get you to respond quickly. As they grow, they'll learn other ways to tell you what they need. Be patient as you learn what your baby's cries might mean and what they need.

A baby's age, environment and temperament all have an impact on their behaviour. All babies go through changes in their crying patterns, and sometimes it's hard to work out why.

Babies change their sleeping and feeding routines when they're:

• growing through a new developmental stage
• unwell
• teething
• experiencing separation anxiety

In the first 3 years of life, babies are developing connections or pathways in their brain and need regular care to feel safe. This takes a lot of energy from parents, who often feel tired and sleep deprived.

As your baby gets older, their sleep patterns will become more predictable. Newborn babies sleep for 14 to 17 hours every day. As they grow, they'll need less sleep during the day and sleep more at night.

Sometimes it may be hard to know why your baby is crying. But it's helpful to be able to rule out a few of the more common causes of crying. This helps you understand why your baby is upset.

Consider whether your baby might be:

• feeling uncomfortable — try changing their nappy and checking they're not too hot or cold
• hungry, tired or have a tummy ache — overtired babies often cry loudly when they need to sleep
• in need of cuddles and reassurance
• feeling unwell — sometimes crying is the only obvious sign that a baby is unwell

Why might my baby suddenly start crying?

If your baby suddenly starts crying for no obvious reason, you should check their body from head to toe for injury or a foreign body. You should check their:

• head and neck for any injury
• arms and legs for any injury — like a bruise (Opens in new tab) or a possible fracture (Opens in new tab)
• eyes (Opens in new tab), ears (Opens in new tab), nose (Opens in new tab) and mouth (Opens in new tab) for a foreign body (object) (Opens in new tab)
• fingers, toes or genitals for a hair tourniquet — a loose strand of hair that has become wrapped around your baby's fingers, toes or genitals (private parts)

See your doctor immediately if you think your baby has an injury.

Once you've checked the basics — your baby is clean, dry, comfortable and fed — consider if they just need to be close to you. Often, babies don't need anything to be 'done' for them, they just want to be held by the people they feel close to.

Try to be mindful, and focus on staying calm (Opens in new tab) and reassuring when your baby is crying. Many parents say their baby 'picks up' on what is happening around the home. They seem to be able to tell if you are stressed or upset.

Think about their surroundings. Some babies are sensitive to noise and lights, and calm more quickly in a dark, quiet room. Others like to have some background sounds rather than a completely quiet environment.

You could try to follow a regular settling routine — this will help your baby to feel secure and learn it's time for sleep. A gentle, predictable wind-down time helps babies go from being active to becoming calm.

You can try a feed, play, sleep routine for a young baby.

Missing your baby's 'sleep window' can lead to overtiredness, making it more difficult to settle.

Here are some tips that might help:

• Watch for signs that your baby is tired — like yawning, rubbing their eyes, grizzling and being fussy.
• Try to separate your baby's feeding and settling times. The best time for most babies to sleep is after feeding and some playtime or an activity.
• Try to place your baby in their cot when they're still drowsy, rather than asleep in your arms. It's very common for babies to fall asleep while feeding, but if they can fall asleep in their cot it will feel more familiar when they wake up.
• Stay with them until they're relaxed and drifting off to sleep.
• Support your baby so they learn how to settle independently, without always needing your help.

The 'period of PURPLE crying' is a term that explains how babies usually cry during their first few months of life.

Some babies cry more than others for different reasons and sometimes there is no obvious reason why your baby is crying. This can be very distressing.

Babies often cry a lot during the first few weeks of life, with most crying happening around 6 to 8 weeks. It often stops by the time the baby is 4 months old, and by 6 months at the latest.

'PURPLE' stands for:

• Peaks in crying — the time when your baby will cry the most (usually around 8 weeks)
• Unexplained — there is no apparent reason why your baby is crying
• Resists soothing — usual techniques for settling your baby don't work
• Pain-like face — your baby might pull faces like they are in pain
• Long-lasting — crying for a long time, 5 or more hours at a time
• Evening — your baby is more likely to cry in the late afternoon or evening

Once you have fed, changed and burped your baby, it's important to stay calm and give your baby the emotional support they need. Most babies who cry a lot are going through a period of emotional growth and need a lot of gentle love and support to feel safe.

Speak to your doctor or child health nurse if you are worried about how much your baby is crying.

'Colic' is a term that is no longer commonly used. It was previously used to describe an unsettled baby who cried for more than 3 hours at a time.

This period of excessive crying is now often called the 'period of PURPLE crying' (see above).

Being a parent can be a challenge, and it's important to look after your own needs. This means:

• eating regular, healthy meals (Opens in new tab)
• staying well hydrated (Opens in new tab)
• getting as much rest and sleep as possible
• knowing when to ask for help

Accept all reasonable offers of support from the people close to you.

Read more on looking after your mental and physical wellbeing.

Try to stay calm, even though your baby is upset. Practice some mindfulness (Opens in new tab) exercises and deep breathing.

Understand that sometimes you won't know what your baby wants. Don't think of their crying as something you need to 'fix'. Instead, see it as how they communicate.

It can be stressful and frustrating at times when your baby is crying, especially when you can't get them to settle down.

What's important is that you never:

• shake your baby — this can cause bleeding in their brain, which can lead to brain damage and even death
• become angry with your baby — including raising your voice, smacking, or handling them roughly
• stay physically close to your baby when you're feeling angry

The Royal Children's Hospital offers information for families with steps for settling your baby (Opens in new tab) and caring for crying and unsettled babies (Opens in new tab).

Tresillian have tips and videos on settling your crying newborn (Opens in new tab).

The Sleep Health Foundation has tips to help your baby sleep better (Opens in new tab).

Red Nose offers advice on wrapping or swaddling babies (Opens in new tab).

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

Red Nose offers a yarning session about safe sleeping for babies (Opens in new tab), for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples.