Bonding with your baby during pregnancy

A bond is an emotional connection between you and your baby.

Bonding helps you start a relationship with your baby that will last throughout their lifetime. It's important for both your wellbeing, and your baby's health and development.

You don't need to wait until your baby is born to bond with them. One of the best times to start bonding with your baby is during pregnancy.

This includes if you are not the one who is pregnant. Partners, family members and close friends can also bond with your baby during pregnancy.

Around the second trimester, your baby's senses will begin to develop. By the third trimester, they will also start to learn and remember things.

Sound

In the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, your baby's hearing will develop.

At around week 25 of pregnancy, your baby's hearing will become fully functional. They may react to noises both inside and outside your womb. They will start to hear your heartbeat and sounds from your stomach. They may be soothed by the sound of your voice.

Language development

While they are developing, your baby may start to recognise certain sounds from your language. Some research suggests that very early language development may start before birth.

Sight

Your baby begins to sense light during weeks 29 to 32. Your baby's eyes will keep developing after they are born.

Sensation

From week 24 of pregnancy, your baby may be able to feel pain.

There are several things you can do to help bond with your baby before birth. You can:

• talk and sing to your baby
• gently touch, rub or massage your belly
• respond to your baby's kicks by gently tracing your belly where they kick
• play calming music to your baby.

It is also important to relax, look after yourself and try to avoid stress. You can:

• give yourself time to think and reflect
• go for a walk
• have a warm bath
• write a diary or stories to the baby about being pregnant

Talking to your partner or a close friend may be helpful if you are feeling stressed. They can provide you with support.

If you are not the pregnant parent, you can also bond with your baby by:

• massaging the baby bump — if the pregnant person is happy for you to do so
• feeling the baby kicking as often as you can
• attending ultrasound appointments
• reading and talking with the baby so they get used to your voice

You can also bond with your baby by supporting your partner through the pregnancy and birth. Talk about the birth plan with the person carrying the baby and meet the maternity team. If you will be present at the birth, go to the prenatal classes as well.

By preparing your toddler or child for the birth, you can help them bond with the baby. You can:

• talk to them about the baby
• read stories to them about pregnancy and babies
• invite them to touch your belly to feel the baby kicking
• take them shopping for baby supplies
• let them help set up the nursery — they may like to put a piece of their art on the wall

You may find that instead of being excited about the birth of your baby, you feel:

• stressed
• confused
• anxious
• depressed

Having a baby can be scary, stressful and overwhelming.

Up to 1 in 5 people have depression while they are pregnant.

If untreated, poor mental health during pregnancy can affect your health after you give birth. Your feelings during pregnancy can affect the baby too. For example, if you are feeling stressed, the baby's heart rate will respond to this and might increase. It may contribute to pregnancy complications.

You should talk to your doctor or midwife if:

• you have had a mental health issue (Opens in new tab) before
• you are feeling very stressed
• you are struggling with difficult feelings

Your doctor can:

• make a treatment plan tailored to you
• help you find support
• suggest treatments

Treatments might include psychological therapy with a mental health professional. You may also benefit from certain medicines like antidepressants (Opens in new tab) that can be used safely during pregnancy.

It can also help to talk to someone about your feelings. Try to increase your support network and meet other pregnant people to share your experiences.

You can visit the Centre of Perinatal Excellence website (Opens in new tab) if you need support.

You can also call Beyond Blue (Opens in new tab) on 1300 22 4636, or find a parenting helpline through Parentline (Opens in new tab).

For more information and advice about bonding with your baby, you can talk to your:

• doctor
• midwife
• child health nurse

Talking to other parents can also help. Share your thoughts and feelings, and allow them to share theirs about their pregnancy and birth experience.